Brother: Well just realize, any guy with half a brain and a penis can sweet talk, and sweet talk for long periods of times... months and years if need be.
Sweet talk is superficial.
A relationship MUST be grounded on somethng more.

Me: What all must it be grounded upon?

Brother: Upon an extremely deep understanding of what makes you you, and him him.
You are not your skin, you are not your bone, you are not your flesh, you are not even your psychological conditions or your personality as directly visible
You are your soul... which is the most mysterious power in comprehension, because it is comprehension.. it is the soul power you have for making decisions.. for breaking away from environment and genetics
for creation, for synthesis
when the bible says we were created in God's image it means in the spiritual image of having the ability to synthesize, to create, to make things seperate of our environment and genetics, to consciously decide to own our own lives, to actually be causal agents of CHANGE in the world.

Me: define casual agents of change

Brother: not vicitims of causation.. a world without humans.. with only animals and plants.. for a fact would be completely scientifically predicable
causal agents of change.. humans.. have the ability to break away from this predictability
with our reasoning ability.. our minds.. our souls... all the same thing its a concept far more robust than self awareness
its awareness as a free agent of change in the universe
that is what makes you you
that is what it is in fact to be you
all the rest is decorations, externalizations, and add ons to that basic factor
that basic factor is the soul
that is waht we live for
and the only way the mystery of love is uncovered
is when souls melt together
and become one
this is nothing to do with the body, or shallow convesratoins
its one of the greatest mysteries and beauties of the universe
but just realize.. sweet talking, warm fuzzies from snuggling, etc etc.. do nothing more than realease a seriies of chemicals in your brain that achieve a great state of realaxatoin and pleasure.. but its just a simplistic chemical reaction that could take place with anyone you become comfortable with who can carry on a shallow conversation of sweet talkery
to truly connect, they must fist be endowed with a beautiful soul, and then you must connection wtih taht soul

Me: how do i know if i've truely connected with one's soul or not?

Brother: i'm not sure,thats what I'm trying to learn
I think it must be experiended before it can be descbribed.